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Key Concepts of Mishlei 15-05 (Disrespect)
In Segments 10-17 and 12-01 we have seen how Hashem intervenes in the smooth flow of events and introduces customized lessons into a person’s life. These serve to remind him of his failings and encourage him to elevate himself to the next stage of spiritual growth.
People have a natural tendency to resist change and so they indulge in a defense mechanism to invalidate the sources of guidance. Through skepticism and disrespect of traditional authority they try to free themselve of the need for compliance with the lessons that Hashem provides.
As previously noted, Mishlei uses two terms to address such lessons. The first is mussar (moral discipline) and the second is tochachah (rebuke or criticism). In general, mussar is related to the idea of the correction of past errors. It emphasizes a person’s middos (moral character) and involves the deterrent power of punishment either through actual suffering or through self-analysis. In contrast, tochachah refers to a gentle admonition or reproof, resulting in a motivation to goodness and spiritual growth.
The traditional source of authority in a family is the father and thus he is especially identified with mussar. A foolish son rejects the guidance of mussar by showing disrespect to his father and to any other authority figure in his life.
Exploring Mishlei
(ה) אֱוִיל יִנְאַץ מוּסַר אָבִיו וְשֹׁמֵר תּוֹכַחַת יַעְרִם:
(5) The fool despises his father’s mussar, but he who pays attention to criticism will become wise.
This proverb calls attention to the foolish attitude of the skeptic who rejects and despises the mussar of his father. This is compared with the constructive attitude of a right-thinking person at the other extreme. In contrast to the skeptic, the positive thinker appreciates criticsim and pays careful attention to it, so that there is no need for the harsher approach of moral discipline.
As noted in segment 15-04 Mishlei encourages a parent or teacher to use his power of speech as an instrument of healing. Thus, when the “healing tongue” provides gentle guidance, a more permanent effect is achieved in the teaching of wisdom.
Learning Mishlei
(ה) אֱוִיל יִנְאַץ מוּסַר אָבִיו
וְשֹׁמֵר תּוֹכַחַת יַעְרִם:
Because of his negative attitude to received wisdom, the skeptical fool despises his father’s mussar  אֱוִיל יִנְאַץ מוּסַר אָבִיו and as a result he will never acquire knowledge. But he who pays attention to gentle criticism will become wise  וְשֹׁמֵר תּוֹכַחַת יַעְרִם without the need for harsher measures.
Additional Insights
A series of insights illuminating this proverb are presented below. The numbers identifying the insights refer to the listing of sources at the end of the segment.
(1) Mussar achieves its disciplinary effect by reminding the listener of the negative consequencences of his moral failings. There is a danger that the listener will react with skepticism to invalidate the authenticity of the message. In contrast, gentle criticism can achieve its effect by showing the value of knowledge.
(2) the person who pays attention to the constructive criticism can learn a lot from it. Through his failings he becomes stronger and the lessons he has learned will last for years. By keeping this wisdom in his heart he can draw upon it whenever it is needed.
The primary sources used for the additional insights illuminating this segment are listed below.
(1) – מלבי”ם
(2) -רבינו יונה