A new proverb was posted to the Mishlei section on Wednesday, September 6.
He who has found a wife has found the good, and has brought forth good will
Mishlei is using the term “find” to refer to the idea of marriage because the potential
for blessing was already there. It is up to man to take the necessary step to “find”
the woman with whom the blessing of “good” comes into being for them both.
This suggests an important difference between marriage and shopping. In shopping for an expensive product, the buyer defines exactly what he wants (size, color, etc.) and checks each item under consideration to make sure it meets all of his specifications.
That approach cannot work in bringing together two complex human beings, especially in the light of the fact every human being is in the process of contiuous improvement and development throughout his life.
Marriage can only work if the entire process of Creation is active in matching the man and woman. If the man and woman trust in Hashem and act on that trust by focusing on qualities of human goodness, He will introduce His blessing and the man will be guided by that blessing to “find” the woman that was meant for him.